Couple weeks later...

Never breaking 2000 calories and I've lost ZERO pounds.

Last Tuesday I visited with my ridiculously-hot physician speaking with her about getting on something to try and "jump-start" my metabolism.  She prescribed - after my pushing - Adipex; 30 day initial trial, as well as my commitment to exercise as my knees allow.  Did I mention she's world-class beautiful?  If only she had a twin sister to sit-in for her husband so Doc and I could take a vacation.  :-)

Anywho - I digress. 

Adipex - I feel wired.  Generally most of the time.  My 'give-a-shit' dropped to about zero.  My sleep patterns are altered - I'm sleeping about 4-5 hours each night since.  No, in the past four days of taking it I have lost zero pounds - with daily calorie intake of 1000 or less.  I will try upping my water intake to try and lose water weight at least.  Any movement would be encouraging. 

My temper is a little quicker - parts of me a little softer :( - though I suppose I will have little need of certain parts while I'm this fat.

How fat? 252lbs. - according to my scale. Makes me horridly depressed.  To that end, I'm going through more weaning - using a system other than cold-turkey.  I'm convinced the Effexor is jacking with my body; encouraging my body to hold onto fat.  Stupid Effexor, stupid body.

Babies and bathwater

Tossing the Bay out, with the bathwater is a phrase used to describe tossing out something GOOD when getting rid of something bad. 

Wikipedia tells us:  This idiom derives from a German proverb, das Kind mit dem Bade ausschütten. The earliest record of this phrase is in 1512, in Narrenbeschwörung (Appeal to Fools) by Thomas Murner; and this book includes a woodcut illustration showing a woman tossing a baby out with waste water

 

Initially this post was called 'square one' - but the implication that any progress or work was for naught is misleading.  Yes, physically I'm a disaster, the past nearly 18 months my body degraded.  Like a roller-coaster, though, I'm back in the game as much as I can. 

To catch up - Me and my wife's divorce is imminent.  A very-good-news story, however.  I am more than ready to move on and break away.  She and I are using a mediator to facilitate the divorce.  The process is slow, but it's going.

 In the past 18 months I learned to be truly happy with who I am.  Part of that comes from Efexor - an anti-depressant.  Now - the good aspects of its use are my ability to escape feeling overwhelmed from day-to-day things normally barely cause for a 2 second curse under my breath.  The worst aspect is my weight gain.  I started weaning myself a week ago - but as a result, after a solid 10 days of strict calorie control I've lost a net of 'zero' pounds.  I will push through because I liked myself a lot better then. 

 

:-)