Day One

That's a photo of me...right...erp...LEFT there. But I'm lying already.  That's me  in August of 2011.  While that photo is not a gross misrepresentation, that's me about 6lbs lighter than I am now.  Some may read this blog and look at that photo thinking "Is this guy crazy? He's not fat!"   Fat.  Weird word.  I'm fat, folks.  I'm obese, technically.  My current weight, as of 30 minutes ago is 230.2lbs.  I stand 73" tall (6'1" for the conversion-challenged).  Google it. I'm obese - or close enough to not matter.  I call this post 'Day One' -  I started my diet sometime in June of this year - going on 2 months now.  When I started this diet lifestyle, I weighed 242lbs.  12lbs - in two months - NOT spectacular by any stretch.  But it's 12lbs.  From a self-professed "idea guy" coming up with the idea of a Stop-being-fat blog took me longer than usual.   I must confess the idea grew from the prompting of a close friend - I'll call her "Olga" (not her real name cuz she's skeerd).  I sent her a pic of me - the one below from my early army days.  She said "Think you could get back to that weight again? I think you'd look great!" 

So - Day one - yesterday I started a health program offered through my employer.  In essence, I get 1 hour of paid time, three days per week, provided I spend that time at the Fitness center.  The lifetime cap for this program six months.  I intend to use this blog to track progress as well as a 'I have to tell SOMEBODY' forum. 

In this get-to-know-me post, I'll give you a bit of my background.  

I've been a chubby-type kid most of my life.  If I had access to my broken external HD I'd show photos of me as I've grown.  While never the fattest kid in school, I've been overweight most of my life.   I never paid much attention to my weight until fifth grade.  Fifth grade I was in love with Maria.  Maria's little brother, Chris was a friend, too.  I confessed my 'like' for Maria to Chris one afternoon near Tiffany Park, in Renton WA.  Chris said "Uh...she thinks you're fat."

Yikes.

Fast forward to High School.  By my senior year I grew to the height I now have, and my weight was very in control - about 185lbs.  I could bench-press 265lbs, squat well over 300, and dunk a basketball on a regulation hoop.  Funny thing - I still felt like a fat kid.  I walked without much self esteem or anything remotely close to a positive body image.Shortly after graduating I joined the US Army.  Would the Army save me from a life of chubby?  I fought it, but the constant physical training put me in what I now call outstanding shape.   At my fitness peak I could do 75 push-ups in 2 minutes.  I could do 90 sit-ups. I could run two miles in less than 13 minutes - I could run one mile in less than 5.    

Me, age 19, Fort Bliss, TX, August 1992

I have no illusions of getting back to that shape - gawd re-reading that...I'm a serious self-defeating chap, eh?

Cutting to the chase - My max weight in December of 2010 was 256lbs.  I lost a great deal of weight while working in Iraq for three months.  I came back from Iraq a svelte 224lbs.  Heh - looking at that number...224lbs.  In the photo above I weighed 175lbs.  Nearly FIFTY pounds lighter than my lightest adult weight since about 2005.  

Why am I doing this - the weight loss?    Couple motivating factors, really - one of which; the probable impetus to this journey I won't discuss until a few important decisions are made.  Suffice it to say when I look at my body with an honest eye I'm heartbroken.  I see me in a suit.  Not 'me'.  'Me' is kinda cute.  'Me' is able to run with my dog for more than 11 minutes before feeling like I'm going to die.  'Me' is confident, outgoing, secure.  Fat-Suit Me (FSM) is the opposite.  FSM is afraid of everyone - especially women I find attractive.  FSM is scared to death of being in a situation where my shirt should be off.  No, I'm not the guy who wears a shirt at the beach, while swimming - so I'd stay on the beach in some sort of cover.  FSM sees my photos and wants to gag.  FSM photoshops 90% of my photos to hide what I have become.  FSM wants to crawl into a very large hole and sink away.  No more.  FMS will die - yes, but when FSM dies, "Darin" will live again.  


Here's my plan:


I'm going to continue my diet.  I'm going to continue physical activity.  I'm going to train my mind to want fitness MORE than a cheeseburger.   

My 5-month old cheerleader, Aoife (pronounced like Eve-uh)

Today I had a small victory - while driving back to work from a doctor's appointment I felt the urge to stop and buy SOMETHING to eat.  FiveGuys burgers is near my work - Best burgers there...One burger wouldn't hurt me, right?  RIGHT?  Within 14 seconds of that thought my mind flashed back to the "Before" Photo I took last night.  I saw every bulge, every curve, ever bit of nasty.  I decided I want FIT more than I want FAT.  I decided a key to happiness for me would be avoiding foods outside my new diet.    


I'd post-up what I'm eating, but I'm scared some Gov't bureaucrat will find this and fine me for "Nutritional Advice".  Hrm...oh well.  Screw TheMan.


Every morning I make two sandwiches on a good natural rye bread.  After I drop a few pieces of turkey or chicken lunch-meat stuff, I dab a bit of spicy brown mustard.  I also bring chopped cucumbers in a separate bag.  

I start work at 0600.  Around 0800 I eat half of one sandwich.  With that sandwich-half, I drink a full 23oz bottle of water.  I use Mio Brand water flavor - but Meijer makes a good one, too.  I repeat that 3 more times every few hours; finishing my last half-sammich around 1500 (3pm).  I'm never hungry using this plan, and I'm drinking a lot of water.  In addition to the full-bottle with each eating time, I drink two or three full bottles each day as I sit and slave-away in my cubicle. 


For dinner I eat light - tonight I had a two-egg omelette with roasted peppers and a bit of salsa.
I ensure at least 12 hours pass before my dinner and my breakfast (usually around 6am).


As part of my fitness program, three days a week I focus mostly on muscle-building with little to no cardio (terribly-bad knees).  I figure - and I'm NOT an expert - but I guess building muscle will  help use more calories in my fairly sedentary life than just having fat hanging off my body.


So that's my story, I guess.  More of my personality will pour into this blog as time goes on.  When I reach my goal of "No longer being a fat-ass" I'll post up before and after...if I have the guts.   As-is, i won't post my before pic because I fear it'll hamper ANY chance I'd get, EVER for future intimacy/happiness. :)   As the blog grows, I'll explain the 'no man card' in the URL.  It's a riot...I suppose readers will either think 'aww...what a sensitive, emotionally-available guy! How cool is that?" or "What a pansy!"  




- Darin

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