Dave works in my area - he and I are similar except he's hot. :-p
While talking about body image and whatnot, he said something to me about ME working to become the man of MY dreams. I was taken aback - I don't DREAM of men.
True, but I dream about ME. I'm (arguably) a man. What Dave told me, in essence, is to create me into the man I've always dreamed I will be.
So - here's the man of MY dreams - ME...2 years from now:
In my dreams I am fit - emotionally first, then physically.
Physically: In my dreams I weigh about 190lbs and can bench press 225 a couple times. In my dreams I am good at basketball again. I'm always picked 3rd in pick-up games. In my dreams I have No reservations being 'skins' in shirts and skins. I wear my size 32 waist jeans (am 36 now) losely and properly. In my dreams I can open every pickle jar ever given to me.
Emotionally: In my dreams I'm less emotionally available. In my dreams I stand up against those who view my sensitivity as weakness. In my dreams I don't fall in love so quickly. In my dreams I am rock-solid, unfazed by circumstances. In my dreams I'm confident - but not proud - of how I look.
When I have those mastered I'll be somebody worth being.
So - Pei Wei for lunch today. I feel TERRIBLE now. I feel nasty and fat. I had about 1/3 of my dish. I feel like i've been eating way too much - but when I log my meals on MyFitnessPal.com - I'm still under 1000 calories for the day. People tell me I need to eat more than my current ~ 800-1000. Eating MORE will help me lose weight. Blah...I don't believe it. But I know they are probably true. I'll keep my focus on 'about 1500' per day; coupled with my excerise, I 'should' start losing again. 'Should'.
Random Pic: Me, Royal Palace, Bangkok Thailand, 1999. ~190lbs.
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