14 August 2012

14 August - Sit with me awhile

"When the world is insane, you get used to the pain and you don't even know what you feel. And I am like you, all alone and confused, But you know it's not forever." - Unbroken, Goo Goo Dolls

Today I remain unbroken.  I failed what I 'wanted to do' - because I merely 'hoped' to accomplish the Gym today, on an off-day.  Not a set-back but a red flag.  Am I committed to this journey or am I wavering. Perhaps my religious upbringing helps and hinders. I learned the power of faith - good thing.  I learned the agony of guilt -another thing.    The Darin of, say, 2010 would guilt-out at every failed goal.  That Darin would crap his pants, figuratively, and panic when things didn't go according to his plan/goal/hopes.  I'm pretty glad that Darin is gone.

Wavering is not failure.   My damn scale showing TERRIBLE numbers for me is not failure.  Eating a single peanut M&M today is not failure.  Failure is not possible because I will never have success at Fitness, because Fitness is a PROCESS....Fitness is a lifestyle never attainable because the minute one stops trying to reach it; the minute one compromises, they lose it.

I have a long journey ahead - God willing.  I'm beyond blessed to have support from friends and family.

Today's Meals - Too few calories but I felt completely full most of the day.





















Random Photo:  Self-portrait circa 2004 and about 215-220lbs


1 comment:

  1. Wavering is perfectly human. I believe fitness, although far from being a child's play, is achievable as long as the person who decided to incorporate it into his/her lifestyle is committed. Slipping every now and then is tolerable as long as one knows how to get back on track.

    I refuse to fail too, but I make sure I get my off days, else I'd go berserk. :-p

    All the best to you. You can do it. :)

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