Big Calorie Day

First - my run of weight 225.x lbs is OVER as of this morning.

:(

But....was 224.8 today! woohooo! Now..I know, I KNOW...I promise I wont cry or whine if it's 225.x again tomorrow...but was thrilling to see!

Today's menu:

Today's chest work out - once again tore me apart.  And I always forget to log the core and leg stuff...hrm.
I'm seeing results in my arms and chest lately.  Feeling muscles again.  Thank you, Miss Erin.

Where am I, mentally with all this.

I am weak. I'm not strong.  I do not have power.  But I'm brave.   And whatever courage I have will sustain me.  Look, a few know my life is, in a word, dramatic.  Gale force winds of BS are lining up to blow through  within the span of a couple months.  I'm counting on my commitment to myself - gawd the selfishness in that statement burns my nose - moves to become my religion and my diversion.

So exciting to see progress.  Secret about me:  I need progress towards 'being better'.  I'm scared of the status quo.  Do I settle for some things?  Sure.  Of course.  But when 'awesome' is right next door - or even 2162.19 miles away...I want to GO GET IT.  My personal awesome is...a year away.  But I want it.  Why do I want it now?  Because I am at my core a lazy man.  Having my awesome body is much easier than earning my hot body.  Geesh...I want something for nothing...see there, my blue-state friends??? I'm a Wall-Street protester at heart! I want something without having paid my dues.

Gawd...Ya know? I'm gonna OWN the laziness in me.  I'm lazy. I'm not proud of it, but I'm lazy.  Now what?  Now?  Right now? I finish my large cup of water + blueberry imitation Mio flavoring...and probably go to bed.  (yawn).

:)



Random Photo:  My daughter aboard a WA State Ferry, circa 2005.